Sorry for not posting anything new for a while, been really busy and kinda not in the mood to type up psudeo-intresting accounts of my job (like anyone reads this crap anyway).

So in light of nothing of outstanding intrest happening recently that wouldnt sound like mindless blog whining gossip about people no one will ever meet, I present to you.....the following filler material on the elements of a pet store.

Customers - Anyone in retail will tell you the same thing, "the customer is always right, even when they are wrong." What they mean is not that if the customer says 1+1 = 57 that they are correct. They really mean that the customer will spend their money however they want to, and you cant tell them no, or that they are being retarded. In a pet store however the customer is quite frequently wrong, and you will politley let them know that the purchase they are about to make, or the information they have heard is inaccurate. A common example is that the customer will often want to buy various rawhide products for their puppy, and not know that rawhide is undigestible to a young pup and will create a ball in their stomach and kill them. So we simply tell them that its not a good idea and explain why, and they still insist on buying it we sell it to them. Now only an imbecile will buy something after you tell them that it will kill their dog, but sadly a good 97% of our customers are complete dunderheads, ergo the following subsection...
Stupid Customer Questions
"Do you have any hamster eggs?"
"So these dogs are twin siblings? Cool, are they from the same breeder?"
"Do you sell dogs" (the first thing you see when you walk through the door is 20 some kennels, filled with dogs, I repsonded yes to this question, the customer then turned to her husband "they dont sell dogs, lets go")
"What would the punishment be if you had sex with your dog?"
"So you say this snake only eats toads, could i feed it a mouse?"
The most common stupid customer comments are normaly along the lines of these
"how much/ how old is this dog" (we have signs on each cage showing the birthdate and price of each dog, its fine if they have never been in the store before and didnt notice the sign, but most of the time they ask this AFTER I have pointed the sign out, they will repeat the same question on the dog in the adjacent kennel)
"you have a cat loose" (we have at least 15 signs strewn about the store saying that our store cat 'knuckles' lives in the store, two of these signs are eye level as you walk in)
"That *insert animal* is dead" (we always reply with "no its sleeping" but they insist its dead and start accusing us of animal abuse, so we go over to the cage, open it and immeadiatly the animal springs up in excitement. The customer then claps "awww wow it was just sleeping, but it looked dead, good thing it isnt")

Animals
Dogs
The dogs are the bread and butter of the store (because they cost wayyyyy to much, but amazingly people buy them quite often). They are cute fuckers who each have a personality that will eventually piss you off when you work with them, but you cant help but love them. Most of the time the dogs are in and out of the store in about a week or two, but some of them have been there for months which isnt a good thing. Occasionaly some die randomly but its pretty rare. We take good care of them and keep their cages as clean as possible. Their are two pairs of dogs in particular however that I wouldnt mind just giving away because they are so irratating. The first pair is a rat terrier and toy fox terrier who i have nicknamed....
"The Shizea Twins". They are the raunchyest, most depraved, disgusting, debauched dogs I have ever encountered. When they are alone they are fine well behaved playful little love bugs, but when they are in their kennel together they are just plain sick. They always wait for customers to walk infront of the kennel before doing anything, their favorite activity being rampant humping of one another (both are male, but humping is a sign of dominance not sexuality so its not gay). Their other activities include, drinking and bathing in each others urine, eating shit, and eating shit as it comes out of the ass of the other then turning around and licking the shit off of their companions face. I love having to explain their hobbies to little children who make up most of the audience.
The other pair is a pair of beagles, brother and sister, who have the most fucking irratating bark on this big green earth, and they bark constantly. So much so that they often loose their voice, with forces us to put them in the back till they regain it because we arent allowed to sell sick dogs. So they have been at the store for way to long.
Reptiles and Fish
The reptiles are pretty badass. We have a giant iguana up front, and some little ones next to him. We have a variety of snakes, lizards, amphibians and turtles. Not many people buy reptiles and they really dont do anything annoying. Those who do buy reptiles tend to be punk ass college age kids who thing that owning a 12 foot snake will get them laid or something, but fail to realise that it takes YEARS for a snake to get that long, and making them survive the first year or two is a rather hard. The fish are useless and no one even notices them because they are really boring and stupid and boring and boring and boring and boring.....zzzzzzz
Birds
The birds are just messy and noisy, but kinda fun to fuck with.
Small Animals
Hamsters and gerbils, rabbits and guinea pigs, ferrets and chinchillas. All fun fuzzy animals who love to bite. Littel kids get a kick out of these and always want to see them, but cant because everytime we let one hold an animal they almost squeeze the thing to death or drop it and then freak out and I have to chase it around the store for 10 minutes.
Cats
We dont get kittens in often now that the owners wife is preggers (cats can cause miscarrages and birth defects if they hang around pregnant women to much). But normaly they come in scarred shitless and are sold within 3-4 days.
Feeder Animals
We probably make most of our daily money off of feeder animals. Mice, Rats, Fish, and Crickets. We get shipments in on wednesday and are normaly out of all feeders except maybe fish by the following monday. Yet every week the same couple inbred rednecks come in on tuesday "got any *insert feeder animal*" we always tell them the same thing "no we are out, tuesday is a bad day to come in because we are always out by then, we get them in on wednesday" to which they reply "oh ok, ill come back in next tuesday then"...... wow

I might elaborate later on a few of the animals but now Im bored of typing so deal with it.