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Stories from the pet store; #2 Wayne

7/24/07 by ornery

Nothing happened today. I got to work and all maintence stuff was done, which means that only mindless busywork tasks are available. Shit like alphabetizing the dog books, which I discovered, that regardless of the breed the book says it is about, each book is exactly the fucking same. What good is a book on Pug dental care when they show pictures of Great Danes. It would be like an instructional manual explaing how tools work, then describing a hammer but displaying a screwdriver.

Anyway I set the minions about their mindless tasks (cleaning beta fish, clipping dingle berries, picking dirt from under places) and proceeded to think of more mindless tasks while they currently worked on their current ones (god im a mean manager).
NOW FOR THE INTRESTING PART
About 2 weeks ago some bright twit was cleaning the feeder rat cages and lost one of the rats in the process. We have a store cat who lives for mistakes like these, he baisically kills any escaped animal. However he has trouble killing large or jumbo rats (these things can be about 12-14 inches without tail, and can weigh about 3-4 pounds) so normaly if one of them gets out we try much harder to find him before a customer sees him.
For two weeks we have spotted and nearly caught this escaped rat (a large rat who is about 9 inches long sans tail and maybe weighs a pound) who we have for some reason named "wayne".
Wayne has been spotted and escaped capture at least 4 times since his escape 2 weeks ago.
Earlier today, as laurie was cleaning out the back room (in which she found the source of the smell back there, about 20 grates covered in shit that were shoved behind a door that cant be opened anymore) when she spotted wayne. She was fast enough to grab him and actually had him by the tail and was transporting him back to the feeder cages when..... his tail begins to fall off......
He is a fucking rat, their tails are normaly pretty well atached, unlike lizards. So she does what any idiot does, freaks out and tosses him away.... right at some customers.... who thank god had their backs turned and didnt notice the one pound flying rat that crash landed 6 inches behind them, then ran under some shelves.
As I was closing I saw him run across the floor being followed by the store cat and bolt under a display shelf where there is nowhere to go. Upon seeing this I jump clear over the counter, flatten myself on the floor and start trying to coax him into a corner where capture will be easier... but the fucker is gone, vanished, disapeered, another word for gone...
The best part is that we have cameras that overlook the register, im sure Rob is going to give me hell for my acrobatics.... oh well.


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